Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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