Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
