He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
