actually, I'm a sock model
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
