drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We had to coat check the pizza.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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