Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
