Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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