My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
