Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
