ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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