is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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