i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
