I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
