Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
