ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
