i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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