Fine. I'll sleep in my office
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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