Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
