Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
