Please, let me fuck your mom
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
