Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
