apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
