To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
