I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
