I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
then he tried to convert me to islam
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
