WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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