Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
