Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just gargled with NyQuil
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
