I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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