My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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