Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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