i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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