Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
