My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
