Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
