I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
