So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
