Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
