possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
