Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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