dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
