He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
