we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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