Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so explain again why im purple
no
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
