Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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