The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
All the doctor said was why
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
