so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
