once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize