so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
