I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
