Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
