and i looked up. we had an audience...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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