So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Boobs speak an international language.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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