Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It was confusing and full of hummus
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
