Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
