I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
