chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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