How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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