So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
