i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
