Pappa wants mamma naked
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize