You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
