don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
