Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Houston, we have a blender
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
