for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
