Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
