I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize